Surrendering My Heart

   My name is Noelle and this is my testimony

I like many, was raised by my mother. My parents had separated before I was born and I never had a relationship with my father~ Throughout my youth , I allowed my life to be revolved around what others and this world thought was acceptable. So much that I lost sight of who I was; lies became the truth, I got into partying/ disrespecting my mother and even close friends, allowing my childhood to flash by into adulthood still lost in sin. And I will tell you this.. I proclaimed to love God, I prayed, I went to church, I even taught children about the love of God. Little did I know, you can't serve two masters (Matthew 6:24). You see, I was a slave to sin, my master was myself & the things of this world. What I thought was being a believer had nothing to do with honoring God. I don't ever recall sitting still long enough to study a Bible. In 2009 after having a heart monitor implanted I was given time to heal and while doing so, I received a message from a longtime friend asking how I was doing. This friend, once lost in sin with me had given his life to Christ. I had no intention of calling him back, we no longer had that common ground. I bar tending, him preaching~ Later that day something inside told me to call him and just go to church. On the way to church we had extra time & so went to a park to talk. He read me his lesson he was to teach. It fell on deaf ears. However, something did register. It was his question to me, He asked me why I hadn't given my life to Christ.My answer was not one that I could have predicted. I said that i liked not having to answer to anyone, that I enjoyed sin. The truth had came out of my mouth..  My heart was speaking for the first time  (Matthew 12:34).  When getting to church; I opted to go with him to the children's church. All the young children gathered together were told of a story about a girl who was grounded in the Word. When asked what grounded meant all hands were raised. I assumed they would talk of being in trouble with their parents and what not. Hands were lifted high by the children, answers like knowing God, having a relationship with Him, Jesus being their rock had me floored. At that moment I realized I had no idea who God was. It brought me to tears & I was ashamed of the life I was living. That night something had changed in me. I opened up the Bible and began to read the book of John. I saw that Jesus IS the light of the world (John 3:19-21).  I saw that my sin was the darkness hating Him. The words I was reading made sense. They were real, God became real! I saw that because of my sins, God crushed His Son~ I lost my breath searching for how I could have rejected Him for 31 years of my life. I thought of how many times the doors were open that lead me to Him but I was selfish and wanted what I wanted. I found myself outside on my knees crying out loud to God asking for Him to forgive me. I asked Him to never stop revealing Himself to me. That I without Him am nothing (John 15:5).  The bible says clearly that we must repent (Mark 1:15). I'm still repenting to this day for I know I will never be perfect though my hearts desire is to honor Christ with all I do (Phillipians 1:6). I die daily to glorify God. God saved me and has given me a new heart, a new life (Eziekel36:26).  God is a just God who has shown me mercy. I AM in fact a slave but no longer to sin, my master is God who bought me with the precious blood of Christ. I have found that God is my Father, one who will never forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6).  I am forever thankful and will serve Him~ (Mark 16:15)  Seek Him while He may be found. Surrender Your Heart